What has Hollywood taught me?

Ok, here's the deal. I absolutely love Hollywood movies. There are sooo many actors, directors, etc that you don't get to see the same one in half a dozen movies every year, playing every role imaginable, which is the case of Bollywood movies. 90% of Bollywood movies have one or more famous actor out of the top 10, which sucks. Anyway, I'm not discussing Bollywood here. I'm going to discuss Hollywood. Today, I was sitting in the subway and thinking about how wonderful this country is and then for some reason I got reminded of Borat and how he made fun of U.S.A. and the Middle East. Then it struck me, what if the not-so-literate people of the world had all their knowledge about the world from Hollywood movies? How would they look at the world? So, I decided to come up with some of the things that they would assume:

1. Big American cities are frequently attacked by monsters and aliens, especially New York.

2. The monsters and aliens love to destroy the American monuments, over and over again. Still, the Americans keep rebuilding them.

3. No one calls 911 when a man kills someone in the middle of the street, especially if it's the hero.

4. If you are chasing someone and you make a jump that is supposed to be very difficult, chances are that you will make the jump and not fall to your death.

5. It's very easy to steal a car. Especially when it's owner is standing beside it and the keys are inside. The owner never hears you open or close the car door. and yea, the hero always steals a car with no alarm in it.

6. To save the world, you need to be perfect. You should be good looking, perfect driver, good shooter, good kicker, hot girlfriend, etc. But you must always stay in a shabby apartment and be almost broke.

7. All the super heroes of the world , only look after one city and the villains somehow always attack that city.

8. You can shoot a gun even after you're shot in your arm and kill the other guy with one shot in the stomach.

9. All the people in Middle East wear loose fitting clothes and drive dusty old cars. People in India are always labour class people or villagers. Middle class doesn't exist and definitely not the Higher class.

10. In the future, all cities will have REALLY high buildings and cars that fly in lanes and somehow never seem to need to stop for traffic signals or fuel. Also, the "ground level" will be full of slums and homeless people and dirt all around.

11. All robots can TALK and give better advice than humans, but they can never save the world.

12. If you go out driving at night, your car will always screw up in the most deserted part of the highway.

13. Wherever you walk, music plays around you and it changes according to the situation you are in.

14. While cracking a password of a system, it takes lesser time to tell you that the password is incorrect than to tell you otherwise.

15. Americans hardly brush or take a bath before they leave their home. While out of home, they hardly eat as well.

16. The police never fine you for breaking traffic rules or blowing up cars or destroying public property. Also, the police are very easy to fool and usually miss when they are shooting.

17. The villain hardly has any family. The hero almost always does and the villain always exploits that.

18. You get to kiss your girlfriend passionately only after you have killed the bad guy.

19. If you are weaker than your enemy, you will definitely win.

20. The bad guy may kill your whole family, but never kills your pets. Also, even if everyone dies, a dog or a cat is always saved in the end.

21. If you are playing a game against someone, you will lose to them initially and then start catching up, making the winning shots only few milliseconds before the game ends.

22. If you are trying to break into a bad guy's hideout, then the security will be the last thing you need to worry about. The bad guy chooses the most stupid people in his gang, people whom you just kick once to stop them from shooting at you. Also, to dodge their bullets, all you need to do is run straight.

23. If you wake up in an Intensive Care Unit, the first thing you should do is tear off all the sensors and drips that are placed on your body and then scream and walk out of the hospital, beating up everyone who tries to come in your way, no matter how weak you are.

This is not the complete list. I will add more and more as they come to my head. Funny, how we make fun of Bollywood movies, when the great Hollywood movies are no different. Of course, I will be posting about Bollywood soon. But that list could probably turn into a book :-P
Hope you enjoy this list and next time you see a Hollywood movie, you'll probably notice these things. :-D